So easy to say, so hard to do.

Be still and Know that I am God...
Every time I start to think I am trusting God completely, you can bet I am in for a new stretching of my faith!! I have been praying and receiving amazing answers from God beyond imagination for years. I do not know if I have ever in my life wanted something for someone else, with everything that is in me........so wouldn't it just figure that it would be someone that has pulled at my heart strings for as long as they have had life and breath!
This story deserves to be told from the beginning, I believe it will paint a picture that will make "clear" my heart. So way back on Thursday November 6, 1988 I had 2 of the most incredible things happen in one day, and by the way I DO NOT BELIEVE IN COINCIDENCES! I was asked if I died that day did I know for sure I would go to heaven, which led to me receiving Christ that night. I also found out I was pregnant with my youngest child Sarah. The 9 months that I was carrying her, God was carrying me into the life he purposed for me, one that many have said I am crazy for and some have turned their backs on me! I am sure many times I have fallen down, and made my share of mistakes...but I have never turned my back on God, as Peter said to whom would we go?
Well as we fast forward I tried my best over the years, through many trials and tribulations to teach my 3 children that God is Real, and he hears our prayers! As I grew in Christ they grew in stature....with their own personalities it was very evident to all that little Miss Sarah loved baby dolls and that would continue as she became everyone's favorite babysitter. She would write stories in school saying that when she grew up she wanted to be a mom and a babysitter.
( I had the great blessing of being a stay at home mom until she was 12 yrs old). On Thursday March 4, 2010 my beautiful daughter Sarah gave birth to my first grandchild "Ariana Lynn" which means "Holy Beautiful" And beautiful she is, my prayer is that she will live her life "Holy Beautiful" before the Lord.
There has never been a doubt in any person that knows Sarah that she was born to be a mom and a great one! Even in the 3 short weeks of Ariana's life it is clear that Sarah is far more comfortable with her baby and how to care for her than any brand new first time mom you have ever seen! ( Yes I know I am partial, but many others could testify of the validity of these words!!) Everyone knows that she is supposed to stay home and take care of her daughter, we have all known it for a very long time!! That also includes her husband! Let me say I love my son-in-law he is a good young man, he loves his God and my daughter, and loves his new baby. I can see outside looking in, that Sarah's heart is breaking because she does not want to go back to work, he is adamant that she will. Oh if I ever wanted to come to my daughters rescue in life it is now, but sadly I know outwardly I cannot. My prayer going to bed and waking is for Kenny's faith to be increased so that he can see God's provision for them. In a world that screams you must have this and you must have that, this is a battle that will be fought and won in prayer alone, for I believe he is making a decision from fear, not faith.........Mine is not the only faith being stretched, and I also know mine is not the one that will be stretched the most.... clearly God's only answer is "Be Still and Know that I am God" I know he is God, I am having trouble with the Be Still part......part of being still is being quiet and letting him handle it!! I have been spending many nights at my house, alone. (Their house is one street over from mine) If I stay home I can't say the wrong thing. But I know God wants me to enjoy my Daughter, Son-in-law and little Ariana while he works out the circumstances,and works on the hearts and teaches each one of us, those life lessons that cause each one to draw closer to him. I do believe that Psalms 37:4 is absolutely true today "Delight thyself also in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart........and wouldn't you know it the very next verse is my life verse Psalms 37:5 " COMMIT thy ways unto him; TRUST also in him; and he WILL bring it to pass" 2conditions, 1 promise COMMIT & TRUST he WILL. Wow I do not know about you but just writing that caused me to quiet down on the inside, right now I can "Be Still" I do KNOW he is God..................the end of the story is never until the last page is published, this is the first one.
God knows, and time will tell..............and much prayer will be given until the time God reveals his will..

If I may touch but his clothes, I shall be whole...

I love this story! I love how personal our God is even in a crowd! The woman with an issue of blood, comes up through the press of the crowd and while Jesus is on his way to heal Jarius' daughter, she says within herself if I touch the hem of his garment, I will be whole! And that she was, but of course as always with a personal God there is more.........Christ when he knew virtue went out of himself turns and says "Who touched me?" Think about that for a minute, Christ in whom all the God-head dwelt bodily, who knew and knows all things surely knew who touched him. So why the question? Surely he wanted to confirm with her that he knew what had taken place and as he is, wanted her to publicly confess him........but also imagine in that day and in that crowd those who possibly had judged her, as unclean. And by the laws standard she was, but Christ came to abolish the law and usher in grace........Ahhhhh grace! And before those who possibly knew her and had laughed her to scorn, he told her before all of them that her faith had made her WHOLE, clean, pure, righteous.....WHOLE!! After all the years and tears and money, and I am sure ridicule as well, WHOLE! (being in the perfect tense, this would have the same meaning as when Christ said on the cross it is finished) the distance is covered accomplished never again needing to be repeated. And that my friends is what happened when you and I were declared WHOLE!!
And then back to the matter at hand, in the time this took, word came that Jarius' daughter had died......................And in the midst of watching as he declared the woman WHOLE (by virtue that went out because of her faith) Jesus tells Jarius Do not be afraid ONLY believe, (just as you have witnessed with this woman, you too by your faith can have what you believe as well). Christ is causing Jarius to focus on him, the same crowd that just witnessed this healing were now laughing him (CHRIST) to scorn, because they heard the daughter was dead and instead of believing the one who spoke life they believed in the finality of death. If there is no God, no resurrection, then there is no hope! And for the crowd of unbelievers that was their reality and they were living out what they believed. Jesus speaks right to Jarius' issue, your daughter too will be made whole just as you have witnessed so shall you receive if you will press through the fear and the crowd and ONLY believe. I am so thankful that God knows me better than I know myself and he meets me where I am. If I believe I can touch him for what I need, if my faith is bolder, and I say speak the word only, or if I am scared to death and start to waver he speaks through the fear and says Be not afraid, ONLY believe. What is it you need to ONLY believe at this time, whether you are in possession of a faith that is mustard seed sized, or one that is full grown that comes boldly to his throne... Jesus himself says ONLY believe..............he will meet you where you are today come to him touch the hem of his garment and let him heal your issues with his blood and be WHOLE!

There are 3 things that help to clear my heart and mind.....

The Word of God, a beautiful sunrise, and yes a hot cup of coffee!! And it would be safe to say, in that order. There is nothing like getting away for even a short time and letting God speak to me in the midst of this crazy busy life, and to do it in a way that all of my senses are involved. It is my way of drinking it all in,(I'm sure you were wondering how I was going to work the coffee in, well there you have it)!! It is amazing how much better the day goes................. Living in reality, I can't get away for the sunrise every day, but as it's been said 2 out of 3 ain't bad. So most mornings it is The Word of God and coffee. It is my way of fulfilling one of my favorite verses everyday..............Bring an offering before the Lord; give unto the Lord the glory due unto his name; WORSHIP the Lord in the beauty of holiness. The offering is me (Romans12 :1)... giving him the glory due his name is bowing my desires before him and giving him veto power in all my life(True Lordship).....The worship he makes easy, What a faithful loving God who is so intimately involved with every detail of my life, Worship is the overflow of thankfulness that he not only saved a wretch like me, but loves me unconditionally and shows me in the most extravagant ways...............how can you not enter your day seeing clearly after a morning like that, better yet, going on to affect others so that they see clearly too.